Les Brown says that, “Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” Well, thank goodness! I’m sure that there have been people in my life that have not thought the best of, or for, me at various times, so I’m very glad that those opinions do not determine my reality. Their beliefs about what I can and cannot do don’t determine what I achieve in life; their ideas about who or what I am, don’t create what I become.
I am in control of those things and to those who don’t wish to believe in me the way that I choose to believe in me I say, ‘What others think about me is really none of my business.’ Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” So don’t give it to them.
Without believing in yourself it is very difficult to accomplish much. It is having faith in your own abilities that will power your confidence to achieve the goals and desires that you have.
Having confidence in one’s self can be a very difficult thing for some people; actually, for all of us at times. I think that there are few people who are confident about everything and if they are it can come across as arrogance to others. Even the most confident people encounter circumstances in their lives that are a bit out of their comfort zone. And balancing confidence with humility is, at least for me, a must.
So if your belief powers your confidence which ultimately leads you to achieve, who gets in the way of your achievements? Could it be that it’s, gasp, you? If the beliefs we hold were not so powerful, there would not be so much attention given to them in inspirational quotes and messages about success. If it is true that the thing which you believe in will happen, you might become very careful about what you allow yourself to believe!
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” (Anonymous) If you truly want something to happen in your life then you have to truly believe that it is possible and that you are able. The belief creates the confidence which powers the actions!
“I’ve learned that if you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t believe in you, you should get out before you stop believing in yourself.” A wise realization for this 22-year-old! Having people in your life that don’t believe in you, and constantly communicate that to you, will erode the belief that you have in yourself and strip you of the confidence you need to achieve your goal or desire. In a recent post (Lessons We Learn About Personal Growth), I addressed the concept that you are or will become who you hang out with: ‘if you hang out with chickens, you are going to cluck!’ Applying the same idea, why, then, would you hang out with people who don’t believe in you?
Most of us face enough challenge in achieving our desires and goals so lack of belief need not be one of them. Allowing the lack of belief from others to determine our outcomes in life only prevents us from achieving our dreams. We stop dreaming and start settling; we move from creating our life to conforming TO life.
Remember when you were a kid and thought you could be or do anything? The power of those beliefs was huge! But many of us, over time, start to be convinced by others that those beliefs can’t be our realities and we start to scale back on our dreams to fit the realities of others.
Are you who you want to be right now? Are you doing the things that you are meant to do? Are you satisfied with the direction of your life? If not, is it possible that you have given in to conformity? Have you given up on that fundamental belief in yourself?
If you need to get back to the mindset of that kid who could be, or do, anything, ask yourself what you would do if you knew that you could not fail. And then let the goals, dreams and beliefs resurface. Write them down and figure out one small way in which you could begin to honor those beliefs, goals and dreams. Find one thing that you can do right away to rekindle the flame and do it. After you commit to and do that one thing, another opportunity may appear to take another step. And before you know it……..
W.C. Fields says, “It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.” Take a look at what you are answering to; maybe it’s time to disconnect the line.
On the journey with you…….Kathy